New Anxiety Technique

Sorry not sorry for the super long post!

I know my normal blogging has turned into more list of pictures and what not.. But this post is going to be all about ANXIETY and if you have it this may help you…

As many of you know I have:

  1. Anxiety
  2. Depression
  3. Hypersensitivity
  4. Possibly Fibromyalgia
  5. Diabetes and more!

I have really been going through it lately! So much so that I was hurting my body with the amount of pressure that I was allowing my anxiety to put inside me. The pulling of my neck… migraines… chest pressure… stomach aches.. Recently I was given medicine for what may be Fibromyalgia (that I should take more religiously so I could get rid of the pain) and yes thinking about the mobility pain made me nervous but the idea of taking medicine makes me even more nervous -_- !

Imagine living with your stomach feeling constant dread, your mind always worried, your body shaky and now you’re sometimes stuttering.. Y’all must think I am so stupid for not taking the pills to help my pain.. I sometimes think the same but knowing I was not only scared about taking the medicine, the pain, and everything else but I was also soooo wrapped up with what everyone thought about me. I guess you can say I cared so much that I forgot about ME!

Let’s go back a month or so… I was at work which is a place that already gives me major anxiety because I always try to do my very best to perform well at whatever roll I am in. (no matter what the roll every roll plays a part in your success, your bank accounts success, and company success) For the most part my peers notice my work ethic from day one but I have been dealt a handful of people who do not and it bothered me. I just hate when someone thinks bad of me…

At the same time big changes were happening in my household as my SO was leaving the company we both had worked for and moving to a new state. No surprise but I am horrible with change.. If you couldn’t tell. He will be commuting back and forth and eventually I will make the move and join him. This change meant I would be leaving not only family and friends but everything I have ever known.

I knew I needed to seek help and speak with my therapist… so I called and made an appointment.  While there my doctor told me about this training or seminar she recently attended and a new technique she learned and even practiced herself on herself.  I am not sure about the name but basically when you feel the anxiety to begin to knock at your door you invite the anxiety in but not only in but to give you everything it has.  I know this may sound strange or if you’re like me this may sound life and death drastically dangerous.  I gave my doctor the side eye and honestly took in the info but thought I would never be strong enough to even try this.

The next day I was at work… needless to say my stomach was churning butterflies and anxiety was getting ready for lift off. I decided to talk to it (learning that yes anxiety is its own being and no anxiety is not who I am) and asked kindly “anxiety give me all you got!” I began to feel stronger than it and a little angry at it so I said to it “YOU CAN’T HURT ME.” Now really feeling strong I demanded for it “to hit me with its best shot!” I could feel the anxiety building up like that feeling you get when you’re about to puke. The anxiety started in my gut and kept rising into my throat.

I could tell the anxiety wanted me to give in and stay weak but I didn’t. No matter how scared I was I encouraged the anxiety to keep going. I was literally nauseated from this. All of a sudden… finally… I COULD BREATHE!!! In my mind I had just vomited all of my anxiety out and it was all over the floor fading away.

The way I felt after was a sense of relief. When thinking about the intense changes coming my way I got excited for the adventure ahead. I got excited for my family and friends to come and visit. And when it came to work.. I am moving leaving this company anyways and as I will always be the type of person to give a roll my best… if some chose not to notice or encourage that well that is eventually there loss. Since the first time with this technique I have been kind of calm and back to my old self just a tad.  I used to be the type of person who was good with doing my best and just rolling with everything that came my way. What is meant to be will be and God has a reason for everything!

Until this past Monday which marked the week prior to my SO leaving! My mind has been going in circles and anxiety skyrocketing. I have not tried to use the technique yet because I feel like everyday it will hit me especially the day he takes off on this journey and I am not mentally ready for this battle again.

BTW- I have realized that anxiety has been here so long I have started to use it as a security blanket.. so scary to think about how much power IT has!
-To be continued-

Yummy Mushroom Soup

First I am vegetarian now so learning to cook with my new lifestyle choice. Secondly we are moving and I will be responsible to cook for my family and get us healthy! No eating out as much since I may not have a job right away… hope you enjoy my adventure!

I have been craving the mushroom soup from a specific restaurant that sales cheesecake maybe made in a factory. I don’t mention there name because every time I have gone to get said soup I have been let down by the customer service and have left even before ordering.  Anyways I have been craving it and finally decided to create a recipe based on flavors in my head and experiment. I happy to say that this first try is so yummy and my SO (who is my guinea pig) says it is better than that cheesecake selling factory.

Give it a try and let me know if you adjust anything and at the end I will tell you what I will add next time.

Ingredients-

1 stick butter (1/2 cup)

1 tsp minced garlic

1/2 of a white onion diced

2 celery stalks diced

16oz (2 square packs) mushrooms, halved

10oz heavy cream

1 8oz can broth (I used vegetable)

salt, pepper, and Parmesan cheese to taste

 

Time To Cook:

Start by prepping your veggies dicing onion and celery, also halving your mushrooms.

Heat a large saucepan and once heated add butter. When butter is melting coat the pan and add in the garlic, onions, and celery. Stir with wooden spoon until the onions are becoming translucent and at that point add in your mushrooms. Cover with pan lid to tenderize the mushrooms faster.

When you notice the mushrooms begin to shrivel or tenderize add in your heavy cream. Let simmer for about 10-15 minutes slowly stirring and lightly pressing mushrooms down at the same time. (We are basically trying to infuse the cream with mushroom flavor)

After simmering the cream with veggies you want add in your can of broth. Let this simmer for 5-10 minutes stirring and pressing again.  Now you get to add in salt, pepper, and cheese for taste. Just a reminder you don’t want to over salt or pepper the soup so I used lightly coated the top of my soup 2 and a half times and it was good.

For the cheese it depends on how cheesy you want your soup I opted for less cheesy and added to good sized dollops.

After you have come to your preferred taste in the saucepan you are going to add your mix into the blender. Blend this until it is liquid about 4 minutes. You can taste here to add more cheese or salt and pepper.

I wasn’t happy with the consistency so I added cornstarch. 1 tsp cornstarch and 1/8 cup hot water and deluted the cornstarch so no clumps were there.  I poured it into the blender and blended for 2 minutes. Let this sit for 5 minutes to thicken.

-Next time I will add sautéed mushroom pieces to garnish the soup and to add texture.

 

I hope y’all enjoy this recipe and let me know how you enhance or embellish or just enjoy it!

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