As I sit here at work and it’s almost 1 AM.. I can’t help but think that I am going to be 32 in two days. Am I where I thought I was going to be.. NO.. but am I in a bad place no not at all. I found the love of my life and it has definitely been a whirlwind I am so thankful to God for sending him my way. I thought I would be a famous something or another and have a few kids taking care of my whole family. Yet at basically 32 I am still learning to take care of myself. Things get to me as if I was a child or in high school. I have always been taken care of to an extent that is basically being spoiled by my mom for my whole entire life and now it’s weird for me to think that I can’t always be spoiled and babied.. even though the love of my life basically for the most part spoils and babies me as well and treats me like a princess but I call myself the Pincess!
I know am trying to change and I will never give up on my dreams or goals to have a family but I think it is a good thing because I get to live this life that I love. Or my wishes to make something of myself for my family and I and at the same time take care of the world. The things that I am working on:
Organization of Everything:
I just am not the best at keeping on schedule or organized when it has anything to do with myself, I have come up with countless ideas and just do not stay focused on it.
Minimizing My Debt:
I do not have that much debt it is not crazy amount but I have debt and I definitely need to pay it ASAP. I have to try harder at this.
Being More Responsible:
This basically has 80% to do with staying focused and not forgetting or giving up on things for myself so easily and 20% to do with independence. Follow through with stuff for myself.
Cleaning Up After Myself:
I was spoiled and spoiled rotten so now I like to move quick and make a mess and think that it is okay to clean it up after I get back or done with I have to do.
Handling my Health:
Well I am fat and have diabetes and was pretty sick not to long ago and it could have went worse real fast for me but thankful to God it did not. I need to take action and handle my health not only physically but mentally too. There has to be a non-medicinal way to beat this!
I know I ramble an awful lot and my post are all over the place but this is why I need to work on the list above! I have now realized that the reason I am in the mess with all the topics listed above is because I always just made sure everyone else was happy as singulars and never as a team was I concerned if we would all be happy together. But being with the man that I am with he makes me see that not only to my faults impact me negatively but him my mom and my loved ones as well. For one if I am not around to make sure everyone else taken care of then that’s a fail.. number two if I am not happy in life how are people around me supposed to be happy as well. When we as a partnership figured that when he is anxious and depressed and it slowly takes over me not that I did not have it before but when one of us gets an episode then it spreads. So I realized with that one issue that could be the issue with the rest of my issues where they could slowly takeover and mess up the good thing we have. And if that happen I don’t know what could happen.. I feel like God sent me what I prayed for!
I love and appreciate you guys for even looking this way.. Please do not forget to STOP AND SMELL THE FLOWERS.. MAKE LIFE AMAZING FOR YOU AND EVERYONE BUT START WITH YOU!
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