Goodbye 2017

Hi Guys,

Happy New Years Eve!

2017 really took me for a ride that I was not ready for and I am still dealing with!  

First off my SO and I worked for the same company going into 2017 and we went into 2017 knowing that the company was being acquired. No matter if we stayed with the acquiring company or went with a different company we knew we had to move out of state. Not just for the type of work we do but also the Bay Area is just to expensive to live a comfortable life! (I do pray one day we will be back!)

In January of 2017 I received a phone call from my sister that my father was really ill. I don’t think I can explain in words the amount of emotions that came about when I received this call. Emotions mainly of anger towards myself because I had 33 years to get close to my dad and I chose to be angry because I felt he never wanted anything to do with me.  My SO and I left that weekend and drove 10 hours (because of the weather) each way to see him.  When we got to my dad he was waiting for us! We spent that weekend with him and it was the last time I saw my dad.

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In April my SO decided to take a job in Illinois, in the beginning of May he moved to IL and we decided I would finish out June here in Cali and make move with him.

On May 23, 2017 my dad passed away just 7 days before his 60th birthday. Again I was mad (TBH still mad at myself) I didn’t make time to go down to visit him just one more time before he passed. We actually buried him on his 60th birthday! Maybe one day I will go into my emotions with more detail but I still haven’t come to terms with it.

On June 30th, I left this company I thought would be around for a very long time.. and I truly enjoyed working at. I met so many great friends and learned many skills. I was heart broken to make this decision but since the new company wasn’t going to extend my position I knew it was better to let go of this chapter in my life.

In July we packed up our apartment and sent most of our belongings to IL. August was bittersweet.. cousin was married and had a beautiful wedding.. I planned a birthday party for August birthdays like my mom and goddaughter since I was going to miss them first time ever.. but my family surprised me with a going away party.

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Shortly after I made the move to IL. Leaving behind everyone and everything I have ever known.. easy to say my anxiety and depression have been at an all time high since (again I will save this for another post).

From August till now I have been trying to get used to life in a new place without the convenience of having my family and friends physically with me.  I have slowly been finding my confidence in learning the way to Target or Walmart or the grocery store.

Fortunately I have been able to make some visits home and spend time with my family. Also I am very lucky to have had visitors here. The one thing I wish is that I knew of more things to show my guests.. because I am seeing this beautiful place for the first time myself.

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My cousins came in October!

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Our beautiful goddaughter came for Thanksgiving!

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And my cousin came out for a weekend to drop my mom off for the month of December and the rest of the holidays!

And now here we are December 31st and it has been one eventful year! A year of events that I don’t think I could have planned for!

I hope tonight is amazing for you all and please don’t drink and drive or let anyone you know drink or drive! Also count your blessings life can change in an instant..

Tomorrow lets welcome 2018 with open arms.. I will post my hopes!

Again Happy New Year Eve.. May all your dreams come true in 2018!

Love,

Toria V.

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MY XMAS WISH LIST 2017

Hi Guys,

Merry Christmas! Can you believe it’s here already?

This year has been super crazy.. Lots of changes in my life! Two main ones.. I lost my dad and no I still haven’t dealt with my feelings! Then right after my SO and I took a leap and moved away from everything and everyone I have ever known including my beautiful goddaughter who is like my child and my amazing mom! Again I am dealing with both these feelings on a daily basis so as you can imagine my life is full of anxiety!

I always put out a “wish” list not for anyone to buy me things but just because it is a fun list that I often write out a bunch of times throughout the season. If you don’t like the whole “what I want” or “what I got” type articles and videos…Sorry not sorry but these are some of my favorite things that I truly enjoy!

***Of course thanks to the World Wide Web for the pics and links!***

The first thing on my list is probably the most expensive item (they will descend in price) on here but it is definitely needed. I need a new laptop not only to continue my blog writing or YouTube creating but I will be a freshman in college come JAN2018 and of course I need the laptop to study and work. Yes I have one but it took a dive into the world of unusable metal! Ideally I would want one that had a good amount of storage and an Intel Core processor of at least i5.

$800 at Best Buy

The next item on my list is something I have wanted for a little while but never really had a good enough reason to buy one.. well unless wanting to pretend to be a Power Ranger was a good enough reason. If you didn’t guess it.. I want a smart watch! Having to be in class soon and not being able to pull out my phone for everything is my reason. I depend on my phone to stay in constant contact with my mom, my family, and my moms health!

$360 Target

The third item on my list is something I have been interested in but have not purchased since I am not completely the label junkie and just use things that look good and make me feel great. But I do love my handbags and I have always been a fan of Rebecca Minkoff.. I do have one of the Mini MAC bags. But I have always looked at her more structured bags like the MAB or even the Regan satchel.. So yes I would love to add a structured black bag to my collection.

Rebecca Minkoff Large Regan Satchel $350

And why not add in a Rebecca Minkoff wallet to go with!

$85

No list of mine would be complete without clothing, shoes, and beauty items.. soooo…

My clothing item is just a sweatsuit matching pieces from Rainbow Shops

Hoodie $11

Pants $11

My shoes two pairs:

1-Checkerboard Vans

Nordstrom $50

2-Fenty Faux Fur Slides

Ruvilla $90

And for beauty I have three things with my eyes on them:

1-Watermelon Sleeping Mask

Sephora $45

2-Fenty Trophy Wife

Sephora $34

3-Tommy Girl Perfume

Macy’s $57

Finally my emotional wants for this coming year are four simple things. Firstly I want to strengthen my relationship with the Lord (always a work in progress) second I want to see my loved ones as much as possible throughout the year (especially my mom, goddaughter, and dogs) third is a natural for me.. I want to see somewhere new or maybe two places and eat good food (if this happens I will try to blog) and fourth aka last but not least I want to be successful with school, with my blog, and YouTube channel!

That is all I have this year… I hope you guys have a blessed Christmas and that the new year is full of happiness and great health for us all. May all your dreams come true in 2018!

For those who do not celebrate Christmas.. Happy Holidays!

Love Toria

I Lied To You

Hi Guys!

I have come today to be honest with you all. I have been lying to you for all these years! I’m sorry!

Yes I have depression.. anxiety.. diabetes.. fibromyalgia.. and making list after list does in fact keep me calm!

But besides this I have not been myself on here or on YouTube! I have been trying my hardest to portray the characteristics of the popular girls. Why because I wanted to be liked by the world and be successful at this life.

I can’t hold up to this facade anymore it is so tiring. I need to be myself! TBH it is not working either so what do I have to lose!?

I am Victoria and I am a city girl who is country at heart. I don’t think I will ever have a modern home.. I want a country farmhouse home but currently just have a normal home that is not decorated to the nines.

I am quirky and nerdy and dress kind of weird.. I don’t mind being in what some don’t considered trendy clothing as long as I am dressed cute and comfy to me!

I live for food, fashion(my style), and beauty! I try my best to incorporate food into my fashion and beauty 95% of the time! I am the biggest animal lover (also incorporated into my fashion) and cry almost everyday because of animal videos or looking at adoption websites!

I am overly sensitive like more sensitive than most young children.. if there is a story on about Christmas or love or a talent show on tv I will cry! Not just cry but ball my eyes out!

If I could have Christmas decor up 24/7 365 days a year.. I WOULD!! I am going to try doing Christmas at Halloween time this year coming! I want to be Mrs. Claus and decorating my home as the North Pole! I have believed in Santa for 34 years and will never not!

I am an organized dreamer.. I dream of one day marrying my best friend but have accepted that that may not happen and as long as I am with him and we are happy in life I will be wonderful. Just like I dream of being a mom via adoption because I don’t want to be pregnant.. but also accept that I may just be a fur mom and the cool aunt to my nieces and nephews! I dream of homes.. food.. travel.. even my wardrobe picks for seasons to come even if I will never have these things. But the reason I say organized is because it starts as a list and ends in a slideshow show presentation sometimes with a buying plan. I can show you my organization on another blog. However I think I dream so much because of things that I have been through and it helps me hide in oblivion behind sparkles and sequins!

Things that have happened to me were the reason I acted out and made poor choices at times in life or wanted to be someone else.. but I have prayed continually to God for forgiveness and guidance for myself and the ones who victimized me! I have been forgiven by God and know that everyone makes mistakes.. my mistakes have everything to do with who I am!

My family especially my SO.. my mom.. and my goddaughter.. and all of my family also have helped me to be a better me and truly mean everything to me and if I could do little things or big things to make them happy.. that is my goal in life! It’s makes me happy to see the ones I love happy!

I HOPE YALL CAN ACCEPT ME FOR ME!

I want to revamp my blog theme and my YouTube site.. I need to be myself. I love being funny while talking about the things I love. It doesn’t matter if I am successful at these things as much as I would like to be.. I can no longer do this to try and be a popular one.. I just need to be me.. and if the world likes me then it’s a blessing but if they don’t then that’s okay because I love me and that is a bigger blessing!

Until next time my pretties!!

Love Toria Louise

Christmas Gift Shopping

Heelllooo World,
I absolutely love Christmas, it has been my favorite holiday since I was tiny. In fact in 34 years of my life I have never not believed in Santa.  Some of you might say I am crazy if I believe in a man in his red suit who has flying reindeer and delivers presents to all of the children of the world. That’s okay for you to believe or not believe you are entitled to your own opinion. As am I!


But let go of the object… the man called Santa and listen to the feelings. The feelings of wanting to give, wanting to make someone happy, that warmth that hits even the coldest people, the feel of magic in the air that comes with the nostalgics of Christmas. Also if you are like me and a faithful Christian than we celebrate the birthday of Jesus. Jesus is the reason for the season!


Normally I spend a few months collecting items that I think will make my loved ones the happiest on Christmas Day.. Whether it be of sincere or comic value!  This year this is not the case… Not only have I been consumed with my move and getting adapted to this state we now call home… but let’s keep it real.. I am not working and do not have that kind of money as I am a stay at home cat mom.


So I thought why not do something that I have always wanted to do.. A yearly themed gift.. And for the kids who have no use for a gift like this something different. No what should I do?  I know for those I am sending a Christmas card to I want to send an ornament to mark the change in our lives. BTW This is not the ornament! 


For the gifts.. I am thinking the theme should be “Mugs & Socks”.. I think this would be the perfect gift of coziness and warmth. Like I am giving my loved ones a hug from afar! Now we know I am not going to DIY socks because I am not that crafty lol! But should I DIY the mugs with a few Pinterest styles? 


I would love to hear your thoughts about doing Christmas presents like this… I am definitely going to try it and if it works out this way I think I might do themed birthday gifts for 2018.
Until next time my pretties,

Toria

2017 New Year’s Resolutions

I am not good at holding to my NYR’s so I don’t really ever list them to myself.  For 2016 I had a NYR to gain more experiences and boy oh boy did I ever fulfill that NYR to my heart’s content.

From Mardi Gras to a road trip through the midwest my year was full of excitement and new experiences.  Even though this year was full of downers it was a balanced year full of uppers so I am willing to state and try for NYR’s of 2017.

The problem with NYR’s is that if you fail to meet your own high expectations you set the year off on a bad note.  So to avoid any anxiety or depression that will stem from failing myself with things such as lose weight, get pregnant and so on.. I am taking the non serious route.. Nothing that will seem life altering and if I don’t succeed this year I may not want to give up on life.

 

  1. Use EBATEs more to shop online- Ebates is an app for you phone or computer that allows you earn back money when you shop online.  I figure why not if I am such and avid online shopper.. It would only give me something back in return.  Also Ebates is really good at letting you see coupon codes and discounts for stores when available as well.
  1. Try a gel manicure- I always get acrylic on my nails and I love them so much but it is hard to type accurately and I have two jobs that I need to constantly type with.  I have been wanting to try the gel or shellac manicure for a while but two issues do come to mind… 1. my stubby little fingers get help in elongation from the acrylic nails and 2. the acrylic nails last 2 weeks sometimes longer and I am hoping that the I will not need to do a manicure every week..  I am willing to give it a fair shot of at least a month or two and if not I will simply go back to acrylics!
  1. Travel Somewhere New- In 2016 I tried to make it all about experiencing new things and I want to continue that in 2017.  Including traveling to see 3 new places just to taste the food and see the sights.. The ones I have in mind are the following(just to name a few):
  • Denver, CO 
  • Philadelphia, PA 
  • Austin, TX 
  • Alcatraz- yes I am from SF but no I have never been!!
  1. Taste the Pancake Souflee- I posted a blog all about food on the west coast that I want to try and yes I want to try all of them but if I only get to one this year it must be Bette’s Diner in Berkley!
  2. Finally Grow Up- only a little bit if I feel like it haha.. I am in no way saying I will give up all the child inspired things I am fond of like Disney, Sailor Moon, mermaids, unicorns, magic, Santa, or any of my sparkle.. But I am saying that I might want to put more money into my savings, eat a little healthier, work out, go back to school, using skincare, or you know put a little more thought into “adulting”

There you have it my 5 resolutions to attempt this year.. sure they are minimal and yes there is many more things I could include but again why set myself or my year up for failure.  More than anything I just want to work hard and enjoy my life and give my loved ones the best everyday!

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Christmas 2016 Wish List

Hi guys.. I know I have been gone again but there are many changes happening here so I decided to take a break until next year.

Which is only about 3 weeks away…… where did the time go??

But I could not leave this year without posting a XMAS Wish List it is my favorite time of the year and my favorite list to make.  Of course I am not expecting all of this or any of this… it is nothing but a list of wants.

Thank you “interweb” for the pics and links.

  1. KitchenAid Blender- Crate and Barrel

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  1. Ring Light Kit includes stand- Walmart

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  1. Sneakers- Lady Footlocker

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  1. Kat Von D Shade + Light Contour Quad- Sephora

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  1. Clinique Happy Heart- Ulta

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  1. Ava & Viv Black Leggings 2X- Target

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  1. Dabney Lee Hamburger Passport & Luggage Tag Set- People Store

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  1. Mermaid PillowAmazon

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9. KitchenAid Mixer Cover- Amazon

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  1. Starbucks Tumblers (2)- Starbucks

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Stocking Stuffers

Mini’s

1. Tajin- Amazon

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2. Soy Sauce- Amazon 

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Intense Therapy Lip BalmSephora

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New BrushesWalgreens

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My L.U.T. (Lavish Unnecessary Type) Gift

  1. Something from the Rexy line- Coach

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Well there you have it… my last wish list of the year… I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and or Happy Holidays.  I am already working on content for next year as so many changes are in front of my family and I.  2016 has been quite the roller coaster and I am happy it has come to end.. I can only hope that it finishes on a good note and leads off 2017 to a great fantastic year for all of us.  

I will see you next year but I will be praying for all always!

Love Toria

A Sweatshirt For Every Holiday

I do not know about you but I am hooked on sweatshirts and hooked on the holidays and yes I am hooked on holiday sweatshirts!! So I thought I would go on a hunt for the most perfect sweatshirts for every holiday not just Christmas!

I found some on Pinterest and the ones I couldn’t find.. I used one of my favorite websites called Customized Girl and designed them myself! For my designs I will update this blog post with the link to my CG Storefront in approx 48 hours. For the ones from Pinterest I will add links of where to find them… The sweatshirt in the featured pic is also one of my designs.

New Years Eve- My Design

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Valentine’s Day- My Design

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President’s Day- My Design

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St Patrick’s Day- SHOPFASHIONY

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Easter- My Design

ty-jesus-ss

Cinco De Mayo- My Design

 

5-5-ss

Mother’s Day- My Design

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Memorial Day- My Design

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Beginning of Summer- My Design

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Father’s Day- My Design

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4th of July- ETSY

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Labor Day- My Design

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Halloween-ETSY

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Thanksgiving-THUG LIFE SHIRTS

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Christmas- AMAZON

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I hope you enjoy this list.. and if you any questions or suggestions about holiday sweatshirts.. tell or ask away!!

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