I Lied To You

Hi Guys!

I have come today to be honest with you all. I have been lying to you for all these years! I’m sorry!

Yes I have depression.. anxiety.. diabetes.. fibromyalgia.. and making list after list does in fact keep me calm!

But besides this I have not been myself on here or on YouTube! I have been trying my hardest to portray the characteristics of the popular girls. Why because I wanted to be liked by the world and be successful at this life.

I can’t hold up to this facade anymore it is so tiring. I need to be myself! TBH it is not working either so what do I have to lose!?

I am Victoria and I am a city girl who is country at heart. I don’t think I will ever have a modern home.. I want a country farmhouse home but currently just have a normal home that is not decorated to the nines.

I am quirky and nerdy and dress kind of weird.. I don’t mind being in what some don’t considered trendy clothing as long as I am dressed cute and comfy to me!

I live for food, fashion(my style), and beauty! I try my best to incorporate food into my fashion and beauty 95% of the time! I am the biggest animal lover (also incorporated into my fashion) and cry almost everyday because of animal videos or looking at adoption websites!

I am overly sensitive like more sensitive than most young children.. if there is a story on about Christmas or love or a talent show on tv I will cry! Not just cry but ball my eyes out!

If I could have Christmas decor up 24/7 365 days a year.. I WOULD!! I am going to try doing Christmas at Halloween time this year coming! I want to be Mrs. Claus and decorating my home as the North Pole! I have believed in Santa for 34 years and will never not!

I am an organized dreamer.. I dream of one day marrying my best friend but have accepted that that may not happen and as long as I am with him and we are happy in life I will be wonderful. Just like I dream of being a mom via adoption because I don’t want to be pregnant.. but also accept that I may just be a fur mom and the cool aunt to my nieces and nephews! I dream of homes.. food.. travel.. even my wardrobe picks for seasons to come even if I will never have these things. But the reason I say organized is because it starts as a list and ends in a slideshow show presentation sometimes with a buying plan. I can show you my organization on another blog. However I think I dream so much because of things that I have been through and it helps me hide in oblivion behind sparkles and sequins!

Things that have happened to me were the reason I acted out and made poor choices at times in life or wanted to be someone else.. but I have prayed continually to God for forgiveness and guidance for myself and the ones who victimized me! I have been forgiven by God and know that everyone makes mistakes.. my mistakes have everything to do with who I am!

My family especially my SO.. my mom.. and my goddaughter.. and all of my family also have helped me to be a better me and truly mean everything to me and if I could do little things or big things to make them happy.. that is my goal in life! It’s makes me happy to see the ones I love happy!

I HOPE YALL CAN ACCEPT ME FOR ME!

I want to revamp my blog theme and my YouTube site.. I need to be myself. I love being funny while talking about the things I love. It doesn’t matter if I am successful at these things as much as I would like to be.. I can no longer do this to try and be a popular one.. I just need to be me.. and if the world likes me then it’s a blessing but if they don’t then that’s okay because I love me and that is a bigger blessing!

Until next time my pretties!!

Love Toria Louise

Advertisements

Birthday Wish List 2017

Hi Guys,

It’s that time of the year again…. MY BIRTHDAY!!!!

That means… this is my annual Birthday Wish List! Unfortunately in this day an age disclaimers are needed to hopefully avoid one of the internet trolls lol..

*DISCLAIMER* Do not read much into my list that I post it is basically my if I could have anything what would that look like. I am not one who makes a list and gets everything on it or even anything on it as gifts. I normally buy myself things on my wish list that I really want! I do not expect gifts from anyone just love and cake haha.. Also I want to know what items would be on your wish list?? 

All I really want for my bday is.. God’s blessings, good vibes, great food, and a functioning world that allows me to grow old with my loved ones!! 

Let’s get this started.. 

Fashion: I love clothing, shoes, and all things fashion. (I dream of giant two level walk in closet) I shop year round and would consider myself somewhat of a pro at shopping. I do not worry about what everyone else wears or thinks is in trend.. I simply just buy what I like and what makes me feel great!

Adidas EQT Support ADV in Lavender Monochrome $110 I have wanted these for a little while now and just think they are the most adorable sneakers ever.. I know pastel colors are technically spring colors but I love wearing what others think are “seasonal” colors all year round! 

adidas egt lavender

(women’s size 10)

Vans Mono Canvas Old Skool in Skyway (light blue) $55 I have always wanted a pair of these but never wanted to buy the basic colors and now these have arrived in my sight.

IMG_1588

(women’s size 10.5)

Rue 21 Plus Camo 3pc Sweatsuit $57 (for all three)- yes I know these may be lounge wear or look like PJ’s but they look amazing!

Hoodie $19

IMG_1591

(women’s 2X)

Cardigan Duster $19

IMG_1590

(women’s 3X)

Leggings $19

IMG_1589

(women’s 2X)

Fila Trayton Hoodie $68– I have these Fila Grant Hill’s that I wanted when I was in 8th grade and I bought them not long ago but now all I need is a hoodie to wear them with. The thing I love about this one is the brown with the other colors because I can pair with brown leggings!

 

 (men’s 2X or 3X- I love my hoodies huge and comfy like a blanket)

Velour Tracksuit $35 I know everyone had the Juicy Couture velour track suits a billion years ago now but I never had one! I think these are so cute and being cute and exercisy is amazing.. basically 60% of my wardrobe is cute as a button and athletic! 


(women’s 2X)


Tech- I feel I am always in a constant need to upgrade my tech game in order to better my blogging and YouTube work (especially if I want to make it a full time career)!

Smart Watch- I am listing 3 different ones only because there are different brands and styles out here. I want a watch that will track my steps, calendar reminders, allows me to text, and can answer/make phone calls. Not to mention I always wanted to be a Power Ranger!

Fossil Gen 3 Smartwatch $275 I love the two tone of the rose gold and navy.. it just looks classic! 


(Q VENTURE ROSE TWO TONE)

Michael Kors Bradshaw $350 I think this is the boujee one of the bunch… the most expensive for sure! But it looks like a regular watch face so kind of a disguise however it’s a touchscreen and it’s eggplant colored metal! 


(Plum color)

Apple Watch Series 1 $269 This is the most common smart watch you see on everyone’s wrist. It’s like the PSL of smart watches.. I am okay with being basic and having an Apple Watch as long as it looks semi girly like this one lol!


(38mm rose gold with pink sand sports band) 

Laptop- I need a common but specific laptop.. I found this one.. I could go for the Intel Core i7 with more memory and bigger hard drive but this is the basics of what I need to better edit my videos!

HP – 15.6″ Touch-Screen Laptop – Intel Core i5 – 8GB Memory – 1TB Hard Drive – HP finish in jet black $529 


(Click here for this one)  

Film Editing Software- VideoStudio Ultimate X10 for Windows $100 I could use a different one as long as it’s compatible with the laptop above.

 

Beauty- who would I be if I didn’t include beauty on a wish list.. I love reviewing beauty products.. So I kept it easy and picked my 4 top items from my Sephora “LOVES” list. And a KC product! 

Glow Recipe Watermelon Glow Sleeping Mask $45 Doesn’t this just sound amazing and looks divine! I want watermelon all over my face!

 

Moschino Pink Fresh Couture Perfume 1.0 oz $45 I have wanted the original windex perfume for the bottle but knew I wouldn’t like the notes.. but they released this one and it’s the bottle with my scents and color!!! 


 

Farsali Unicorn Essence Serum $54 I have wanted to try these skin enhancement drops since they were released but was always concerned with oiliness.. however I heard these are quite nice and not oily! 


 

Jo LOVES White Rose & Lemon Leaves Fragrance Paintbrush Gel $55 I have always wanted to try a Jo Malone fragrance and now this will give me that opportunity and with a cool bonus aspect.


 

I love shopping for a cause! The Kylie Cosmetic item I want is the lip kit in the color “Smile” and that is because 100% of the proceeds go to SmileTrain which is an amazing foundation that treats untreated cleft lips. This color is no longer available but if Kylie Jenner happens to read my blog lol… giiirrlll bring that color back I am sure it will sell out immediately and raise more money for that amazing foundation who blesses children and parents all around the world.


 

Home- Firstly I just moved so of course there are things I want but also I am working hard on creating an ambiance for us to live comfortably and work from here productively as well!

 

Keurig 2.0 $120 I loved having my Keurig prior it is so convenient for folks who like drastically different coffee flavors! And this one is not only in my favorite color but one step up from the basic one! 

(Color: Oasis) 
 

Wall Shelves Set of 4 $25 I want to add a little bit of storage and cuteness over our writing desk! I think white is needed to tie in more if the color combo for the guest room! 

Upholstered Office Chair $170 I picked this one because it’s brown and white and goes with the color scheme of the room but technically we could do any color that goes with brown and white! PS I love animal print and cow print is no different!


 

Neon Lights $100 I just want to see my name in lights and at the same time I think it would add something special to the background of my videos.


I would want it to say ToriaLouise so I may need 2!

 

Experiences- I always list things I want do and aside from these things listed I really just want to see my loved ones in CA, PA, FL.. and break aka “eat” cake with everyone. (when I say “cake” I mean cake, pie, and or donuts!!)

MOIC SF– this is the museum of ice cream that took over LA and is now opening in SF and I am happy to say that we will be attending so stay tuned for pics! 

 

Color Factory SF– this is another museum type attraction that has beautiful rooms full of imagination and creativity.. sadly tickets for October are not available so Color Factory if your reading my blog please open it up for me to attend in October I am sure you will sell out October as well! (update- there ticket sales website was malfunctioning when I was in there to buy tickets so I in fact missed out on the tickets I needed) 😦

 

Mac N Cheese in Wisconsin.. just ask yourself doesn’t it sound amazing to have mac n cheese in the home of cheese heads… they even have this delicious place called MACS and it’s a mac n cheese shop! 


 

Have visitors here in IL.. I want to show people what I have seen and maybe find something new with them!!

 

Like I said these are gifts I do not expect to receive in anyway from anyone. Just seeing or hearing “Happy Birthday” to me or reading beautiful comments is what I appreciate so very much! 

Love Toria

Can I Wear That: Joanna Gaines

**DISCLAIMER** I am just someone who enjoys fashion.. I am not instructing anyone to go out and purchase these items or follow my lead.  I am just pointing out certain aspects of other women’s fashion that I think are fantastic choices that I am considering adding into my own wardrobe.

Can I just say I absolutely adore Joanna Gaines.. her style with fashion and home decor inspires me everyday.  But also I just admire the wholesome down to earth family focused who can also be a boss in business ladies still left in this world.

Thanks to the world wide web for the pics and info on these products!

 

1.Neutrals

jg1

2.Denim Jacket

jg2

3.Coats

jg3

4.T-Shirts

jg4

5.Tunics

jg5

6.Bold Shoe

jg6

7.Delicate Tanks

jg7

8.Short Dresses

jg8

9.Maxi Dresses/Skirts

jg9

10.Denim on denim

jg10

11.Simple beautiful hair and makeup

jg11

12.Boots

jg12

 

I hope you enjoy this posting and let me know your opinion on adding these items to my closet.  I am looking forward to adding a few more list under this post title!

PS… If it is okay with you guys I would like to do a follow up with my version of the items listed above as well as where and when I bought them with links.  How bout that?<< had to do it!!

Till next time my pretties!

Current Anxiety Reducers

My anxiety is always here and I am still against the whole medication thing.  I am one who depends on prayer and activities to help me.  Previously I have given y’all my things I would do to help myself get out of the funk and since that is almost always changing as life always does… I figure why not an update!

 

  1. Making List

 

I have notebook galore and I am always buying more because I make list after list after list.. About everything and anything you can think of.  And since my blog is basically all list I think you already knew this!  I can actually finally say I have gotten closer to filling up a full notebook every single page in it (I feel so accomplished) so I feel now would be a good time to try one of those books that inspire you to make list.

 

Here is the one I went with from Amazon: >>CLICK HERE<<

list-maker

  1. Plan

 

I love to plan events even if they are just imaginary at the moment!  Ever since I was little I have been planning weddings and wedding events for myself.  I did it so often I wanted to become a wedding planner.  With the help of Pinterest and Google Chrome I have now made slides of the wedding I am convinced I want.  In fact I have shared a few wedding themes I am thinking of with you here on my blog.

Here are the are my blogs all about my wedding wants: Blog 1Blog 2Blog 3

Here is a page of the Google Slide that I created:

wedding-slide

  1. Design

 

Much like wedding planning I have been designing since I was a teenager on graph paper making blue prints to each room.  And through the years I have been designing dream homes on paper and Pinterest.  Now that we are moving soon I have been utilizing Google Chrome to design our next home.  However I have come across this game app that allows you to design rooms based on requirements for money and all the other players get to vote on your room designs and you can win furniture items.  The app is called Design Home and I am sure it is available on the Google Play store as well as I-Tunes where I got it.

 

Take a look here at the app screen shots- 1st you see your requirements, 2nd you design, and 3rd they vote and you get a rating.

dh1dh2dh3

 

That is the current list… but I thought I would throw in a few things I have done for a long time and a few coping mechanisms that I wish I could adapt:

 

In the past I would do many of the things here but I would also shop a whole lot and do not get it wrong I still shop way too much.. especially when things feel bad buying something new makes me feel new.  But I also used to write music and poetry and I miss doing that soooo much!!  I also love to eat, hang out with the loves of my life, spend hours online researching, and of course play with make up.. and most importantly I like to pray even though my depression sometimes doesn’t allow me to do so.

The coping mechanisms that I am hoping to adapt besides writing music and poetry again are: cleaning, organization, minimizing, read books and exercising.  If I could focus my energy on activities like these maybe I could get a cycle of healthy happiness instead of shopping and eating to cope with anxiety and depression.

Oh and BTW I also want to learn to travel with zero anxiety but I will be happy with less anxiety over the amount that I get!
Till next time my pretties!

Christmas 2016 Wish List

Hi guys.. I know I have been gone again but there are many changes happening here so I decided to take a break until next year.

Which is only about 3 weeks away…… where did the time go??

But I could not leave this year without posting a XMAS Wish List it is my favorite time of the year and my favorite list to make.  Of course I am not expecting all of this or any of this… it is nothing but a list of wants.

Thank you “interweb” for the pics and links.

  1. KitchenAid Blender- Crate and Barrel

kitchenaid-5-speed-aqua-sky-diamond-vortex-blender

  1. Ring Light Kit includes stand- Walmart

ring-light

  1. Sneakers- Lady Footlocker

nikes

  1. Kat Von D Shade + Light Contour Quad- Sephora

katvdquad

  1. Clinique Happy Heart- Ulta

clinique-hh

  1. Ava & Viv Black Leggings 2X- Target

leggingsfromtarget

  1. Dabney Lee Hamburger Passport & Luggage Tag Set- People Store

dabnylee

  1. Mermaid PillowAmazon

mermaid-pillow

9. KitchenAid Mixer Cover- Amazon

cupcake-cover

  1. Starbucks Tumblers (2)- Starbucks

sbtm1 sbtm2

Stocking Stuffers

Mini’s

1. Tajin- Amazon

tajin-to-go1

2. Soy Sauce- Amazon 

soy-sauce-packets1

Intense Therapy Lip BalmSephora

lip-balm-jb1

New BrushesWalgreens

new-brush1

My L.U.T. (Lavish Unnecessary Type) Gift

  1. Something from the Rexy line- Coach

rexyrexy2

Well there you have it… my last wish list of the year… I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and or Happy Holidays.  I am already working on content for next year as so many changes are in front of my family and I.  2016 has been quite the roller coaster and I am happy it has come to end.. I can only hope that it finishes on a good note and leads off 2017 to a great fantastic year for all of us.  

I will see you next year but I will be praying for all always!

Love Toria

Anxiety Helpers

BTW my phone is broken and that is why my featured pic is not edited like all the recent ones… let’s get started!!

I know I have been away AGAIN.. but so many changes are happening and things I am trying to keep my anxiety and depression levels low and mellow.  So I thought I would share a list of the top 5 things I do to win the fight.  Maybe not a fun list of pictures but hopefully a helpful list to some.

1.Make List-

I know this is no secret but for me personally list have been my coping mechanism for decades.  I would make list of things I liked in catalogs before the internet gave me wish list online.  When I list things that I want to do or things I want to purchase and actually make it happen it boost my confidence and gives me this amazing burst of hope that whoops my anxieties ass. 

2.Plan-

I enjoy planning everything from events, trips, holidays, wardrobes, anything and everything I can think of and I have a process to my method. The best thing about planning is the design or them..

  1. Start with a concept on paper.  List after list after list.
  2. Take it to Pinterest.  Create a board.
  3. Take both the list and board to create a Google slide doc.
  4. Present the slides to myself and whoever wants or needs to see my plans.

Here is a bit of an example of my Google slides… The slides make my plans come to life.. if you want some help doing Google slides I am always here to help!! No I am not engaged but I love weddings and dream of the day I will be planning my own!!

3.Organize-

Let’s not get this backwards I am queen of the messy children.. I am normally exhausted emotionally and physically from fighting the good war inside of my body.  Someone who is reading this may not know that there is a mental battle in the minds of those who suffer from any type of emotional stress.  I feel bad for those who have any type of emotional issue and they are not used to the strain it will put on them but imagine what the ones who have a mental disorder such as anxiety go through.  They have a war in their brains to try and maintain this “normal” appearance to the world. For myself and almost all of us I have more than 1.. I have three 1.Depression 2.Anxiety and 3.Hyper Sensitivity… needless to say with my mental disorders and diabetes plus asthma I am physically and mentally beat up everyday of my life.  So when I get home from a 12 hour shift at work I really just want to drop my items.. eat food and go to sleep..

But there are times when I get tired of looking at the war-zone and get the urge to purge all of my items.  Clothing, food, makeup, home goods… and even the tiniest lent spec on my bed will skeeve me out.  During these times everything I own as a place and I try to keep them in that place!

4.Shopping-

I know coming from a shopaholic this sounds bad… but shopping for food, apparel, accessories, gifts, makeup just makes me feel like something new is coming into my life and it’s a new day “I can breathe easier”.  Whenever I am extra stressed I turn to a store to find the deals.. I can also say that I am better because I am at least budgeting in the shopping instead of just going for what makes me happy.  Now I just need to save money and shop at the same time!!

5.The last one is the big one that I should do first but when I get anxiety I think of this one last in the battle… this is a 5 step process that I saw online one day and have used it ever since:

FIND 54321(my name I think)

  1. 5 things you can see and say them out loud
  2. 4 things you can touch and say them out loud
  3. 3 things you can hear and say them out loud
  4. 2 things you can smell and say them out loud
  5. 1 thing you can taste and say it out loud

No matter if you are new or old to this war of mental health try this one first or any of these.  I have a bunch more mechanisms but these are the ones that I do most.  It is worth mentioning that the “smell” thing one.. I always smell my perfume because it is an intentional familiar scent.  I am thinking I may post another list of my methods.. But looking forward to hearing what you think of this list and if you have any for me try.

Come Say Hi:

Twitter @prettytoria415

Insta @starvingprettytoria

Snap Chat @toria415

YouTube Pretty Toria

Too Faced Obsessed: Eye Shadow Palettes I Own

I have a favorite cosmetic brand and from the title you can tell who it is.  I am obsessed with their packaging and I am in love with the quality of every thing I own especially my eye shadows.  I consider them a high end brand as there palettes typically range from 30-50 bucks sometimes a little higher. However this is a high end cosmetic company that is worth every penny and makes myself and all of the TF addicts sparkle with joy.  

logo-toofaced-400

I have gone through so many high end eye shadow palettes and there may have been great competitors in quality or in packaging but never have I found one that has both.  Don’t get me wrong I am not saying there is no cool, chic, and beautiful packaging but TF has the pretty and cute element that I am fond of.

My history with Too Faced Cosmetics is that they were my first in high end in a few categories. When I started to jump away from drug store makeup my first palette over 20 bucks was the old version of Natural Eyes and my first liquid lipsticks were the Melt Lipsticks in Fuchsia and Coral.

Now I am just so in love with just about every product they put out.  Of course I am not saying there are not items that I have a love hate relationship but I will just say I still have and reach for my very first palette from TF and it still does a classic eye like no ones business.

Let me show what I have and tell you what I have and why I bought it.

I will link what I can.. And like always thanks “WWW” for the pics!

 

Eyes-

1.Natural Eyes (Older Version)- I could only find a link for new version.. >CLICK<

I love this palette because you could do a pinup look so very easy.  It can be a subtle eye, a bright sparkly eye, or a darker earthy smokey eye.  They did take away Nude Beach, Velvet Revolver, and Cocoa Puff in the new version.. all of those I would consider my faves of the palette but Nude Beach was my confidence for a long time.  I stopped using this palette so I would never use it all.

tfnp1

2.Smokey Palette- >CLICK<

I bought this palette not to long ago and have used it a few times. That is not because there is a difference in quality of eye shadows but only because they are darker colder colors that I do not typically reach for. This palette is not currently available on TF site or other makeup stores but I did find it on JET click the link above.

tfsep

3.Chocolate Bon Bon Palette- >CLICK<

This palette is where my addiction to their design stems from.  The smell of chocolate that wafts your nose every time you apply a color to your lid is incredible.  And hello it is full of hearts and speaks to my heart fully.

tfcbbp

4.Peanut Butter & Jelly Palette- >CLICK<

I was counting down the days for this palette to release for three things: 1.the peanut butter scent 2. Peanut Butter and Peanut Brittle the copper colors and 3. Jelly the vibrant purple color.

tfpbnjp

5.Sweet Peach Palette- (Not available as of 24SEP- will update if changes)

After being so impressed with the Chocolate Bon Bon and PB&J palettes I was so yearning to smell this palette

tfspp

I reluctantly missed out on the Xmas releases of 2015 so when I heard they were releasing scented palettes this year I could not help but try to pick up all three.  The packaging the scents the everything Christmas.. I love it all!! So far I have gotten:

6.New York Grand Hotel- >CLICK<

Comes with 3 palettes with scents they each have 6 eye shadows and 1 blush or bronzer- 1.Eggnog Latte 2.Mocha Pepermint 3.Gingerbread Cookie

tfxnygh3p

7.New York Merry Macarons- >CLICK<

smells like macarons and comes with 12 eye shadows.

tfxnymm

First let me know who makes your favorite eye shadow palettes and why?  

I am really dedicated to my obsession of Too Faced Cosmetics (especially their eye shadows) so much so I am doing research on discontinued items and upcoming releases.  I will be going through all eye shadow colors and seeing where they recycled colors.  

The next following postings will be:

  1. Lippies I Have
  2. Facies I Have
  3. Eye shadow Palettes I want: Available
  4. Eye shadow Palettes I want: Discontinued
  5. Products I want: Available
  6. Products I want: Discontinued

 

Come Say Hi:

Twitter @prettytoria415

Insta @starvingprettytoria

Snap Chat @toria415

YouTube: Pretty Toria