I Lied To You

Hi Guys!

I have come today to be honest with you all. I have been lying to you for all these years! I’m sorry!

Yes I have depression.. anxiety.. diabetes.. fibromyalgia.. and making list after list does in fact keep me calm!

But besides this I have not been myself on here or on YouTube! I have been trying my hardest to portray the characteristics of the popular girls. Why because I wanted to be liked by the world and be successful at this life.

I can’t hold up to this facade anymore it is so tiring. I need to be myself! TBH it is not working either so what do I have to lose!?

I am Victoria and I am a city girl who is country at heart. I don’t think I will ever have a modern home.. I want a country farmhouse home but currently just have a normal home that is not decorated to the nines.

I am quirky and nerdy and dress kind of weird.. I don’t mind being in what some don’t considered trendy clothing as long as I am dressed cute and comfy to me!

I live for food, fashion(my style), and beauty! I try my best to incorporate food into my fashion and beauty 95% of the time! I am the biggest animal lover (also incorporated into my fashion) and cry almost everyday because of animal videos or looking at adoption websites!

I am overly sensitive like more sensitive than most young children.. if there is a story on about Christmas or love or a talent show on tv I will cry! Not just cry but ball my eyes out!

If I could have Christmas decor up 24/7 365 days a year.. I WOULD!! I am going to try doing Christmas at Halloween time this year coming! I want to be Mrs. Claus and decorating my home as the North Pole! I have believed in Santa for 34 years and will never not!

I am an organized dreamer.. I dream of one day marrying my best friend but have accepted that that may not happen and as long as I am with him and we are happy in life I will be wonderful. Just like I dream of being a mom via adoption because I don’t want to be pregnant.. but also accept that I may just be a fur mom and the cool aunt to my nieces and nephews! I dream of homes.. food.. travel.. even my wardrobe picks for seasons to come even if I will never have these things. But the reason I say organized is because it starts as a list and ends in a slideshow show presentation sometimes with a buying plan. I can show you my organization on another blog. However I think I dream so much because of things that I have been through and it helps me hide in oblivion behind sparkles and sequins!

Things that have happened to me were the reason I acted out and made poor choices at times in life or wanted to be someone else.. but I have prayed continually to God for forgiveness and guidance for myself and the ones who victimized me! I have been forgiven by God and know that everyone makes mistakes.. my mistakes have everything to do with who I am!

My family especially my SO.. my mom.. and my goddaughter.. and all of my family also have helped me to be a better me and truly mean everything to me and if I could do little things or big things to make them happy.. that is my goal in life! It’s makes me happy to see the ones I love happy!

I HOPE YALL CAN ACCEPT ME FOR ME!

I want to revamp my blog theme and my YouTube site.. I need to be myself. I love being funny while talking about the things I love. It doesn’t matter if I am successful at these things as much as I would like to be.. I can no longer do this to try and be a popular one.. I just need to be me.. and if the world likes me then it’s a blessing but if they don’t then that’s okay because I love me and that is a bigger blessing!

Until next time my pretties!!

Love Toria Louise

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Christmas Gift Shopping

Heelllooo World,
I absolutely love Christmas, it has been my favorite holiday since I was tiny. In fact in 34 years of my life I have never not believed in Santa.  Some of you might say I am crazy if I believe in a man in his red suit who has flying reindeer and delivers presents to all of the children of the world. That’s okay for you to believe or not believe you are entitled to your own opinion. As am I!


But let go of the object… the man called Santa and listen to the feelings. The feelings of wanting to give, wanting to make someone happy, that warmth that hits even the coldest people, the feel of magic in the air that comes with the nostalgics of Christmas. Also if you are like me and a faithful Christian than we celebrate the birthday of Jesus. Jesus is the reason for the season!


Normally I spend a few months collecting items that I think will make my loved ones the happiest on Christmas Day.. Whether it be of sincere or comic value!  This year this is not the case… Not only have I been consumed with my move and getting adapted to this state we now call home… but let’s keep it real.. I am not working and do not have that kind of money as I am a stay at home cat mom.


So I thought why not do something that I have always wanted to do.. A yearly themed gift.. And for the kids who have no use for a gift like this something different. No what should I do?  I know for those I am sending a Christmas card to I want to send an ornament to mark the change in our lives. BTW This is not the ornament! 


For the gifts.. I am thinking the theme should be “Mugs & Socks”.. I think this would be the perfect gift of coziness and warmth. Like I am giving my loved ones a hug from afar! Now we know I am not going to DIY socks because I am not that crafty lol! But should I DIY the mugs with a few Pinterest styles? 


I would love to hear your thoughts about doing Christmas presents like this… I am definitely going to try it and if it works out this way I think I might do themed birthday gifts for 2018.
Until next time my pretties,

Toria

Planner Relationship Goals

I have been wanting to commit my life to something very important, it is something I have had many failed relationships with my whole life.  What makes this time different is the fact that we are moving and I will be taking on more responsibility to control a household of 3 (not preggo).  If you have yet to figure it out I am talking about a relationship with an agenda planner.

My whole life I have tried to be the type of person who is dependent on my agenda plans but something always comes up… where I forget to put one day in and that’s it I won’t touch it for about 3 months.  My routine is to start up and plan about 4-6 weeks of things, add in all birthdays, and some work schedules ( I technically work 4 jobs 2 of them are paying in cash and 2 paying in experience to hopefully be my main source of income soon).  After I take two weeks to enter all this info I get distracted with life and just live without looking at the planner.

To some maybe most this is not a bad way to live because no matter what the situation I am able to just keep the flow and go with it.  But at the same time there are times where I feel chaotic with no direction and my anxiety is at the all time high.

Last year I got two planners.. I know two is excessive but one was a birthday gift.

The first was a Lilly Pulitzer 17 month agenda book.  This was the bigger book.  LP agendas are so colourful and vibrant and so very much girly.  

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(thank you Google for the pics)

The second was a Kate Spade 17 month agenda book.  KS agendas are cute and elegant and very lady like.

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(thank you Google for the pics)

I think the big issue is my mental illness.. depression and anxiety!  I want to be that person who is so organized and feel chaotic if I am not organized but it is quite the opposite.  I have this feeling that if things are well planned and organized is just going to go off track so why even try.  

I need to shake that and just buckle up get a hold of myself and do what I have got to do… FOR THE SAKE OF ORGANIZATION!

I am not saying this is hard to do and I know plenty of people do it no issue.. I am saying for me this will be a challenge a very personal challenge that I am betting I am not alone in this world with.  I need to plan meals, a family schedule(including 2 pets), trips home (when we move), YouTube and Blog, maybe even wedding planning.. Plus I have so many things I want to do like Bible Study, Gemology, and Escuela.. All of this organization for our home will be on my shoulders!!! I know I am putting more than needed pressure on my self but this is nerve wrecking… 

I know that I am going to have to work out of at least 3 books(not including notebooks for study):

  1. Agenda
  2. Meal Prep
  3. Wedding Planning Eventually

 

Knowing me though I will probably have 2 meal prep books and 4 wedding planning books hehehe BUT.. for the agenda I am hoping to work the whole 2017 out of just one!  I am looking for something fun and pretty that I could have tons of sticker fun with!  If it is inspirational and uplifting that would be BEST to combat my depression and anxiety!

The ones I am looking at would be..

The Happy Planner- this one is uplifting and encouraging and you have the ability to make it my own with plenty of stickers and fun pen colors..

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(thank you Google for the pics)

The Happiness Planner- this one is different because it encourages you to fill out sheets all about happiness.. I am thinking of getting a book like this with out the agenda part just to fill out and answer questions about my happiness!!

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(thank you Google for the pics)

Erin Condren- the most expensive but the most “customizable” in my opinion… even the binding wire is color changeable on these(like rose gold)…

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(thank you Google for the pics)
Let me know which one you think is best based on your own experience or even based on your research for purchasing…

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