I Lied To You

Hi Guys!

I have come today to be honest with you all. I have been lying to you for all these years! I’m sorry!

Yes I have depression.. anxiety.. diabetes.. fibromyalgia.. and making list after list does in fact keep me calm!

But besides this I have not been myself on here or on YouTube! I have been trying my hardest to portray the characteristics of the popular girls. Why because I wanted to be liked by the world and be successful at this life.

I can’t hold up to this facade anymore it is so tiring. I need to be myself! TBH it is not working either so what do I have to lose!?

I am Victoria and I am a city girl who is country at heart. I don’t think I will ever have a modern home.. I want a country farmhouse home but currently just have a normal home that is not decorated to the nines.

I am quirky and nerdy and dress kind of weird.. I don’t mind being in what some don’t considered trendy clothing as long as I am dressed cute and comfy to me!

I live for food, fashion(my style), and beauty! I try my best to incorporate food into my fashion and beauty 95% of the time! I am the biggest animal lover (also incorporated into my fashion) and cry almost everyday because of animal videos or looking at adoption websites!

I am overly sensitive like more sensitive than most young children.. if there is a story on about Christmas or love or a talent show on tv I will cry! Not just cry but ball my eyes out!

If I could have Christmas decor up 24/7 365 days a year.. I WOULD!! I am going to try doing Christmas at Halloween time this year coming! I want to be Mrs. Claus and decorating my home as the North Pole! I have believed in Santa for 34 years and will never not!

I am an organized dreamer.. I dream of one day marrying my best friend but have accepted that that may not happen and as long as I am with him and we are happy in life I will be wonderful. Just like I dream of being a mom via adoption because I don’t want to be pregnant.. but also accept that I may just be a fur mom and the cool aunt to my nieces and nephews! I dream of homes.. food.. travel.. even my wardrobe picks for seasons to come even if I will never have these things. But the reason I say organized is because it starts as a list and ends in a slideshow show presentation sometimes with a buying plan. I can show you my organization on another blog. However I think I dream so much because of things that I have been through and it helps me hide in oblivion behind sparkles and sequins!

Things that have happened to me were the reason I acted out and made poor choices at times in life or wanted to be someone else.. but I have prayed continually to God for forgiveness and guidance for myself and the ones who victimized me! I have been forgiven by God and know that everyone makes mistakes.. my mistakes have everything to do with who I am!

My family especially my SO.. my mom.. and my goddaughter.. and all of my family also have helped me to be a better me and truly mean everything to me and if I could do little things or big things to make them happy.. that is my goal in life! It’s makes me happy to see the ones I love happy!

I HOPE YALL CAN ACCEPT ME FOR ME!

I want to revamp my blog theme and my YouTube site.. I need to be myself. I love being funny while talking about the things I love. It doesn’t matter if I am successful at these things as much as I would like to be.. I can no longer do this to try and be a popular one.. I just need to be me.. and if the world likes me then it’s a blessing but if they don’t then that’s okay because I love me and that is a bigger blessing!

Until next time my pretties!!

Love Toria Louise

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Christmas Gift Shopping

Heelllooo World,
I absolutely love Christmas, it has been my favorite holiday since I was tiny. In fact in 34 years of my life I have never not believed in Santa.  Some of you might say I am crazy if I believe in a man in his red suit who has flying reindeer and delivers presents to all of the children of the world. That’s okay for you to believe or not believe you are entitled to your own opinion. As am I!


But let go of the object… the man called Santa and listen to the feelings. The feelings of wanting to give, wanting to make someone happy, that warmth that hits even the coldest people, the feel of magic in the air that comes with the nostalgics of Christmas. Also if you are like me and a faithful Christian than we celebrate the birthday of Jesus. Jesus is the reason for the season!


Normally I spend a few months collecting items that I think will make my loved ones the happiest on Christmas Day.. Whether it be of sincere or comic value!  This year this is not the case… Not only have I been consumed with my move and getting adapted to this state we now call home… but let’s keep it real.. I am not working and do not have that kind of money as I am a stay at home cat mom.


So I thought why not do something that I have always wanted to do.. A yearly themed gift.. And for the kids who have no use for a gift like this something different. No what should I do?  I know for those I am sending a Christmas card to I want to send an ornament to mark the change in our lives. BTW This is not the ornament! 


For the gifts.. I am thinking the theme should be “Mugs & Socks”.. I think this would be the perfect gift of coziness and warmth. Like I am giving my loved ones a hug from afar! Now we know I am not going to DIY socks because I am not that crafty lol! But should I DIY the mugs with a few Pinterest styles? 


I would love to hear your thoughts about doing Christmas presents like this… I am definitely going to try it and if it works out this way I think I might do themed birthday gifts for 2018.
Until next time my pretties,

Toria

Lifestyle Wants: Birthday Beauty Wish List

So now you have seen the first two Birthday Wish List:

 

  1. 33rd Birthday Wish List (More Materialistic)
  2. Humble Wish List (More Experiences)

 

And now as you can tell by the title of the blog this is my beauty wants. No not just product items but maybe a new look as well.  

 

The Infamous Disclaimer- If you don’t like or understand these types of post please be my guests and leave or try it out… read and write a list you may find them relaxing like myself.

 

BTW thanks to the world wide web aka www for the pics.

 

1.New Hair

hair

2.Really Cool Nails

nails

3.Unicorn Brushes

unibrush

4.Mermaid Brushes

merbrush

5.Too Faced Christmas In New York- Grand Hotel Cafe

tfcny

Not sure if this will be my last wish list for my birthday.. I am enjoying these ones.  I feel like a kid writing exciting Christmas List(my Christmas List will be fun).  Until next time my pretties!

Come Say Hi:

Twitter @prettytoria415

Insta @starvingprettytoria

Snap Chat @toria415

YouTube: Pretty Toria

Hungry and Hangry

I am hungry hangry…  If I could have the Cubano’s made by my SO’s family in PA.. I would eat the plate right now!!!

 

Today is the 24th of March and just yesterday I went to a nutrition class for my diabetes.  I have not been able to get a wraps on my blood sugars.

 

So I decided it would be best for me to accept any additional help I could get from my doctor and medical facility.  What this class did for me was:

 

  1. Make Nutrition Labels easier to read.
  2. Help me understand the breakdown of diabetes.
  3. Helped meal prep become understandable.
  4. Sparked my interest for nutrition.

 

That being said I have spent today planning and counting carbs.  I thought that I was onto something… onto an easier way to change my life.  An easier way to make healthier choices for my eating habits.

 

I planned and counted carbs for:

 

  1. Breakfast
  2. Snack
  3. Lunch
  4. Snack
  5. Dinner

 

I am sitting here waiting for dinner time to come along with a headache.  Granted the headache may be because I am trying really hard to give up soda.  Coke and Dr Pepper to be exact.  First day in a long time to I have not had at least one soda.  

 

So sitting here waiting for dinner I have already eaten extra snacks and I am HUNGRY and HANGRY!! I still have 70 minutes until dinner time… all I want is a burger or slice of pizza and that is making my headache worse!  I will survive and it will get easier this is what I know.

I am working on my next couple of blogs one on more details of what I am learning and the next on skin care… So subscribe and stay tuned!!

 

Until next time.. Stay pretty!!

 

I love and appreciate you guys.  Please don’t forget to make life AMAZING and STOP AND SMELL THE FLOWERS!

 

Come Say Hi:

Snap Chat: toria415

Twitter:@prettytoria415

Instagram: @iprettytoria

YouTube: Pretty Toria    

To Get Married or To Buy A House

Living in this part of the country aka The Bay Area, it is hard to have both.  Sure there are some that already have both a wedding and own a house and I am truly happy for them.  But for us in our situation we just can not survive and be able to do both(maybe not even 1), and this breaks my heart.  

The average wedding in the SF Bay is about $40,000 and the average price of a home in the SF Bay is $650,000.  That 40,000 is a chunk of the down payment for a house.  Even condo’s we were looking at are around 650,000.  So being that the price of a wedding is a good portion of a down payment for a house it just doesn’t make sense.

 

I have compiled a few situations and I would love for you to tell me your thoughts:

 

  1. Rent for the rest of our lives (or until we no longer have to) and slowly save our pennies to eventually be able to pay for our wedding.  Who knows maybe a few years after that we will be able to afford a down payment.
  2. Just get a marriage certificate and all the money we save go for a down payment.
  3. Move to other side of the Bay where houses are cheaper..but then we have to both commute across the bridge when we work separate shift therefore adding more gas cost and bridge tolls.  Which to me is pointless to save money on rent or mortgage to throw it right back to the commute.
  4. If we move out of this state life would be cheaper but then the field of work we are both in pays best here in the Bay Area.  Not to mention we work for a cool company and if they moved out of state and offered us salary cuts by a reasonable amount.. We would accept.
  5. Save save and by land big enough to through our wedding on and a prefab manufactured home which would cost way less than a regular home for sale.
  6. Last but not least is very simple: Stop Complaining and Make Shit Happen!

 

All I know is that life will work out just the way it is supposed to (and that’s how I will begin and end this closing paragraph).  I have had this epiphany and I hope that it sticks.  My epiphany has to do with money and food to begin. Epiphany Title: “Time to Grow Up!” I have been trying to lose weight for the longest time and now I just need to stop being so hard headed and stick to a new lifestyle also mix in some exercise.  When it comes to money I have always had a spending problem (kind of comes with anxiety, depression, and retail therapy as the temporary solution) and I really want to learn how to save my money.  I have been reading day in and day out how I could make both of these items happens.  Normally I would make list and plans of how I could make this happen but I really just need to make it happen.  Just get it done and update y’all along the way.  No matter what anxiety puts into my mind my heart knows to have faith and trust in God and the life He has for me.

 

I love and appreciate you guys.  Please don’t forget to make life AMAZING and STOP AND SMELL THE FLOWERS!

 

Come Say Hi:

Snap Chat: toria415

Twitter:@prettytoria415

Instagram: @iprettytoria

YouTube: Pretty Toria

TMI: HAVING VAGINAL ISSUES

I know I have been away again..  But there is a reason…

 

I have been taking this medicine called Medroxyprogesterone and in short it is a medicine that forces me to have my period because I am irregular.  In fact I am so irregular that I can go years without a full period.  But this medicine is just not for me if you go 2 months without one then you could take this.  The process is a 10 day pill once a day.. then for me about the 7th day I start bleeding and then it will last for however long.  

 

The thing about this is that it causes me to be so ill.  I get headaches, backaches, stomach aches, cramps, nauseated and so so so emotional like so SO SO SO SO emotional.  I go from a happy person staying focused to a crying wreck to an “attitudy” bia bia if you get my drift.  Point in case for the crying wreck:

 

The other night we were home decor shopping and I felt happy ready to shop and buy some Beach House decor… Everything was okay and my S.O. decides to see if a pet store as our cats food because she is a spoiled little mama.. he goes in and follow but I turn around and see the cats up for adoption and there staring at was the most precious kitty.  Amaretto… I asked if I could touch her and they said the adoption hours were over and I understood and definitely was not mad at the clerk but I was heartbroken… I sobbed for what felt like a lifetime but was really maybe 15 minutes.  The kitty loved me and needed me and connected with me and my heart crumbled and still hurts (I feel the tears as I see her face in my mind right now).. Sorry I have to stop typing now..

 

Here is a very emotional video update about my medicines…

I love and appreciate you guys.  Please don’t forget to make life AMAZING and STOP AND SMELL THE FLOWERS!

 

Come Say Hi:

Snap Chat: toria415

Twitter:@prettytoria415

Instagram: @prettytoria415

YouTube: Pretty Toria

I Have Fallen In Love

I have fallen in love with..

Our New Place:

We have been in here for about a month.. and right away I notice the vibes are better.. we used to argue at least once a week in the old apartment.  I always told my SO that the apartment had unwelcoming vibes.  I know I know it’s only been a month.. give it some time..

First of all that’s negative so hold that to yourselves lol.. but I think if it can start on a positive note it is up to us to keep it there.. and yes we still have worry fear anxiety and depression.  But there is this thing where we ride the rollercoaster of emotions faster… meaning we get over it faster.  I can honestly say it feels like it is in the form serenity of our new apartment.

I know I owe you guys updates on the apartment like photos and vlogs.. they are coming but I have to tell  you guys about my favorite spot.. it is the one spot in our bedroom that allows me to relax on the chair and at the same time see my SO relaxing on the couch and we can watch whatever it is we want to watch and still be with each other.. but at the same time I can close the door and record my YouTube videos.

I have fallen in love with:

Life:

This ending of 2015 I and when I say I.. I mean we as in my family and as in the world lost a few too many special people.. For the first time in my life we did not have time to spend with someone before they passed.. it really made me grateful for the past losses we have felt.. we are blessed!

I have come to an understanding with in my mind that not everything is always going to go perfectly the way I think it should go but perfectly the way they are supposed to go.

I get to do what I love to do which is has helped me gain confidence.. I absolutely love blogging about my life and making videos about what I am passionate about which is Makeup, Food, and Shopping… Yes I still have a career but I wouldn’t be happy if I wasn’t making my own money!

I am blessed every morning my SO, my Mom, my Goddaughter, my animales, all of my loved ones and myself get to wake up… I AM SO GRATEFUL TO OUR HEAVENLY FATHER!!

I have fallen in love AGAIN with:

My SO:

I still am the overly sensitive girl and he is still the sometimes grumpmaster.. but together we have this passion of love for each other that has created this unconditional understanding of each other’s own inside issues and with our needs as individuals and most important as a team as partners in life.

Of course we are not perfect and have things to work towards.. but I can honestly say that life would be boring if I didn’t have things to work towards.. and I am not just talking relationship wise but my goals in life.. in life you have to work hard and enjoy the rewards you are blessed with.

I love and appreciate you guys for even looking this way.. Please do not forget to STOP AND SMELL THE FLOWERS.. MAKE LIFE AMAZING FOR YOU AND EVERYONE BUT START WITH YOU!

Come Say Hi:

Twitter: @prettytotira415

Instagram: @iprettytoria

Snap Chat: toria415

YouTube: Pretty Toria