I Lied To You

Hi Guys!

I have come today to be honest with you all. I have been lying to you for all these years! I’m sorry!

Yes I have depression.. anxiety.. diabetes.. fibromyalgia.. and making list after list does in fact keep me calm!

But besides this I have not been myself on here or on YouTube! I have been trying my hardest to portray the characteristics of the popular girls. Why because I wanted to be liked by the world and be successful at this life.

I can’t hold up to this facade anymore it is so tiring. I need to be myself! TBH it is not working either so what do I have to lose!?

I am Victoria and I am a city girl who is country at heart. I don’t think I will ever have a modern home.. I want a country farmhouse home but currently just have a normal home that is not decorated to the nines.

I am quirky and nerdy and dress kind of weird.. I don’t mind being in what some don’t considered trendy clothing as long as I am dressed cute and comfy to me!

I live for food, fashion(my style), and beauty! I try my best to incorporate food into my fashion and beauty 95% of the time! I am the biggest animal lover (also incorporated into my fashion) and cry almost everyday because of animal videos or looking at adoption websites!

I am overly sensitive like more sensitive than most young children.. if there is a story on about Christmas or love or a talent show on tv I will cry! Not just cry but ball my eyes out!

If I could have Christmas decor up 24/7 365 days a year.. I WOULD!! I am going to try doing Christmas at Halloween time this year coming! I want to be Mrs. Claus and decorating my home as the North Pole! I have believed in Santa for 34 years and will never not!

I am an organized dreamer.. I dream of one day marrying my best friend but have accepted that that may not happen and as long as I am with him and we are happy in life I will be wonderful. Just like I dream of being a mom via adoption because I don’t want to be pregnant.. but also accept that I may just be a fur mom and the cool aunt to my nieces and nephews! I dream of homes.. food.. travel.. even my wardrobe picks for seasons to come even if I will never have these things. But the reason I say organized is because it starts as a list and ends in a slideshow show presentation sometimes with a buying plan. I can show you my organization on another blog. However I think I dream so much because of things that I have been through and it helps me hide in oblivion behind sparkles and sequins!

Things that have happened to me were the reason I acted out and made poor choices at times in life or wanted to be someone else.. but I have prayed continually to God for forgiveness and guidance for myself and the ones who victimized me! I have been forgiven by God and know that everyone makes mistakes.. my mistakes have everything to do with who I am!

My family especially my SO.. my mom.. and my goddaughter.. and all of my family also have helped me to be a better me and truly mean everything to me and if I could do little things or big things to make them happy.. that is my goal in life! It’s makes me happy to see the ones I love happy!

I HOPE YALL CAN ACCEPT ME FOR ME!

I want to revamp my blog theme and my YouTube site.. I need to be myself. I love being funny while talking about the things I love. It doesn’t matter if I am successful at these things as much as I would like to be.. I can no longer do this to try and be a popular one.. I just need to be me.. and if the world likes me then it’s a blessing but if they don’t then that’s okay because I love me and that is a bigger blessing!

Until next time my pretties!!

Love Toria Louise

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Christmas Gift Shopping

Heelllooo World,
I absolutely love Christmas, it has been my favorite holiday since I was tiny. In fact in 34 years of my life I have never not believed in Santa.  Some of you might say I am crazy if I believe in a man in his red suit who has flying reindeer and delivers presents to all of the children of the world. That’s okay for you to believe or not believe you are entitled to your own opinion. As am I!


But let go of the object… the man called Santa and listen to the feelings. The feelings of wanting to give, wanting to make someone happy, that warmth that hits even the coldest people, the feel of magic in the air that comes with the nostalgics of Christmas. Also if you are like me and a faithful Christian than we celebrate the birthday of Jesus. Jesus is the reason for the season!


Normally I spend a few months collecting items that I think will make my loved ones the happiest on Christmas Day.. Whether it be of sincere or comic value!  This year this is not the case… Not only have I been consumed with my move and getting adapted to this state we now call home… but let’s keep it real.. I am not working and do not have that kind of money as I am a stay at home cat mom.


So I thought why not do something that I have always wanted to do.. A yearly themed gift.. And for the kids who have no use for a gift like this something different. No what should I do?  I know for those I am sending a Christmas card to I want to send an ornament to mark the change in our lives. BTW This is not the ornament! 


For the gifts.. I am thinking the theme should be “Mugs & Socks”.. I think this would be the perfect gift of coziness and warmth. Like I am giving my loved ones a hug from afar! Now we know I am not going to DIY socks because I am not that crafty lol! But should I DIY the mugs with a few Pinterest styles? 


I would love to hear your thoughts about doing Christmas presents like this… I am definitely going to try it and if it works out this way I think I might do themed birthday gifts for 2018.
Until next time my pretties,

Toria

Moving Wants: Mom’s Room

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List..List..List..List..List (in my Riri voice)

Okay so we are a few rooms in now and if you did not know.. I am planning on taking my mommy with me.  I am her caregiver and her only child so it is only natural that I take her with me! And her little doggy too!!

So now we are here building a Decor Inspo post for her room.. You know the drill this series is all about the list of things that I need from room to room.  This gives you a look into my decor hopefuls and I can not wait to show you how it turns out when we finally move in. ( still about 18 months)

I can not say it enough.. I am so so happy to have my mom with me again.. We are super close and are best friends!  I know this will be a hard transition for my mom as well as a culture shock when she is away from everything and everyone (besides us) she knows (especially Lani)… so I am hoping to fill her room with positive and bright decor.  Especially elephants with the trunks up(in honor of a love started by my Nana)!

BTW thank you internet for the great inspirational pics! (Links added)

 

Bed- (we have a queen size mattress set for her)

yellow-hb

Bedding

colourful-bs

elephant-bs

 

Furniture- White and bright

dog-crate

dresser2nd-dresser

 

Accent Furniture-

loveseat-mama

book-case

mirror

 

Accent Decor-

family-pics

happy-art

elephant-pillow

elephant-wa

curtains-mr

elephant-lamp

 

 

 

For Doggie-

dog-feedings-area

 

doggie-pee-pad

doggie-stairs

 
As I said for my Mama’s room there is nothing more important to me then to make this comfortable relaxing peaceful serene and beautiful.  I know at this time in my life I can not give her a big house or expensive gifts but if I can give her a room to call all her own decorated to her idea of beautiful than I would feel like a good daughter.  She deserves relaxation and serenity in life.. She has done so much for so many and it is time I give her some overdue relaxation.

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Monday Anxiety Update

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I would like to say that my anxiety level has dropped to barely there but we all know that this is not something that goes away just like that.  However some things are getting easier to combat in my mind and see the real and not the mind game that I am used to.  Like for instance if I see foundation on a box in the makeup department, normally my mind would tell me that I need to check my hands 10 times no matter if I touched it or not because it is actually blood and I am going to catch a disease from the foundation.  But what had happen this time was that I knew it wasn’t blood and that I did not touch it anyways so I was perfectly fine.. yes it took me a few minutes to grasp on to the truth of the situation but none the less I did.  Now today at a store a girl who was ringing me up had a nasty habit of licking her thumb or finger before each time she went to grab a paper item.  So this was the tissue to wrap my item, the bag, and the receipt.  I could not take it and almost didn’t buy it.  I would normally come up with a reason to take a different one from the way out and not get a bag or receipt but I was so shocked I took the bag left with it and sanitized my hands.  So of course I Googled a whole bunch of things that you can catch from saliva and licking fingers, and besides it being just real nasty habit unless I am a finger licker then I am good.  I know everyone is wondering if I am a finger licker and the answer is NO but I am a nail bitter which is one bad habit that I have been working on so guess I have another reason not to put my hands in my mouth.  Also I am going to spray or wipe down my stuff with alcohol or sanitizer, because you all know me I can’t just be normal and forget about it.

 

I know this is probably the shortest blog that I have done in a while but it is Monday and I wanted to say hello to my readers.  So the way I am going to end this one is giving you a few prayers to live with and basically or at least a few things that really do help me on a daily basis:

  1. Prayer: God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I can not change.. The COURAGE to change anything I can.. and the WISDOM to know the difference.
  2. I love the quote “Take a deep breathe and smell the flowers!
  3. Last but definitely not least do what makes you happy and what makes helps you calm.  For me we all know that the BEACH, NATURE, and SHOPPING really help me.  But the best thing tool I have to help me is my BIBLE app and they give me daily readings that just speak to me and my emotions that I have at that moment.

 

OKAY I said short and then I could just keep going but this is it.. I love you all so so much and appreciate you so very mucho for reading and liking or even just glancing my work.  Like always and forever if you need someone to talk to you can come and start with a HI and let’s chat.  Until next time KEEP IT BRILLIANT!

 

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