I Lied To You

Hi Guys!

I have come today to be honest with you all. I have been lying to you for all these years! I’m sorry!

Yes I have depression.. anxiety.. diabetes.. fibromyalgia.. and making list after list does in fact keep me calm!

But besides this I have not been myself on here or on YouTube! I have been trying my hardest to portray the characteristics of the popular girls. Why because I wanted to be liked by the world and be successful at this life.

I can’t hold up to this facade anymore it is so tiring. I need to be myself! TBH it is not working either so what do I have to lose!?

I am Victoria and I am a city girl who is country at heart. I don’t think I will ever have a modern home.. I want a country farmhouse home but currently just have a normal home that is not decorated to the nines.

I am quirky and nerdy and dress kind of weird.. I don’t mind being in what some don’t considered trendy clothing as long as I am dressed cute and comfy to me!

I live for food, fashion(my style), and beauty! I try my best to incorporate food into my fashion and beauty 95% of the time! I am the biggest animal lover (also incorporated into my fashion) and cry almost everyday because of animal videos or looking at adoption websites!

I am overly sensitive like more sensitive than most young children.. if there is a story on about Christmas or love or a talent show on tv I will cry! Not just cry but ball my eyes out!

If I could have Christmas decor up 24/7 365 days a year.. I WOULD!! I am going to try doing Christmas at Halloween time this year coming! I want to be Mrs. Claus and decorating my home as the North Pole! I have believed in Santa for 34 years and will never not!

I am an organized dreamer.. I dream of one day marrying my best friend but have accepted that that may not happen and as long as I am with him and we are happy in life I will be wonderful. Just like I dream of being a mom via adoption because I don’t want to be pregnant.. but also accept that I may just be a fur mom and the cool aunt to my nieces and nephews! I dream of homes.. food.. travel.. even my wardrobe picks for seasons to come even if I will never have these things. But the reason I say organized is because it starts as a list and ends in a slideshow show presentation sometimes with a buying plan. I can show you my organization on another blog. However I think I dream so much because of things that I have been through and it helps me hide in oblivion behind sparkles and sequins!

Things that have happened to me were the reason I acted out and made poor choices at times in life or wanted to be someone else.. but I have prayed continually to God for forgiveness and guidance for myself and the ones who victimized me! I have been forgiven by God and know that everyone makes mistakes.. my mistakes have everything to do with who I am!

My family especially my SO.. my mom.. and my goddaughter.. and all of my family also have helped me to be a better me and truly mean everything to me and if I could do little things or big things to make them happy.. that is my goal in life! It’s makes me happy to see the ones I love happy!

I HOPE YALL CAN ACCEPT ME FOR ME!

I want to revamp my blog theme and my YouTube site.. I need to be myself. I love being funny while talking about the things I love. It doesn’t matter if I am successful at these things as much as I would like to be.. I can no longer do this to try and be a popular one.. I just need to be me.. and if the world likes me then it’s a blessing but if they don’t then that’s okay because I love me and that is a bigger blessing!

Until next time my pretties!!

Love Toria Louise

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Christmas Gift Shopping

Heelllooo World,
I absolutely love Christmas, it has been my favorite holiday since I was tiny. In fact in 34 years of my life I have never not believed in Santa.  Some of you might say I am crazy if I believe in a man in his red suit who has flying reindeer and delivers presents to all of the children of the world. That’s okay for you to believe or not believe you are entitled to your own opinion. As am I!


But let go of the object… the man called Santa and listen to the feelings. The feelings of wanting to give, wanting to make someone happy, that warmth that hits even the coldest people, the feel of magic in the air that comes with the nostalgics of Christmas. Also if you are like me and a faithful Christian than we celebrate the birthday of Jesus. Jesus is the reason for the season!


Normally I spend a few months collecting items that I think will make my loved ones the happiest on Christmas Day.. Whether it be of sincere or comic value!  This year this is not the case… Not only have I been consumed with my move and getting adapted to this state we now call home… but let’s keep it real.. I am not working and do not have that kind of money as I am a stay at home cat mom.


So I thought why not do something that I have always wanted to do.. A yearly themed gift.. And for the kids who have no use for a gift like this something different. No what should I do?  I know for those I am sending a Christmas card to I want to send an ornament to mark the change in our lives. BTW This is not the ornament! 


For the gifts.. I am thinking the theme should be “Mugs & Socks”.. I think this would be the perfect gift of coziness and warmth. Like I am giving my loved ones a hug from afar! Now we know I am not going to DIY socks because I am not that crafty lol! But should I DIY the mugs with a few Pinterest styles? 


I would love to hear your thoughts about doing Christmas presents like this… I am definitely going to try it and if it works out this way I think I might do themed birthday gifts for 2018.
Until next time my pretties,

Toria

5 Items: Burlington Coat Factory

Hi Guys,
This is the beginning of greatness!! I would like to start a new series all about bargain shopping! I am a bargain shopper by blood from my mama… and I can clearance hunt with the best of them aka my mom and aunts!

My family loves to shop… we used to and if we can.. we will still eat our meals on turkey-day all while planning our plan of attack on the sales that are about to unleash! Maybe the love of shopping for most of us is why I truly believe in retail therapy! LOL!

This series will be called 5 items and it is really just 5 bargain items from different stores… sometimes I will give myself a challenge when buying these items or like today just great items I found at a really good price!

Today’s 5 items are from one of my favorite stores and that is Burlington Coat Factory (BFC), this store is a great place to buy clothing, fashion accessories, shoes, beauty, home goods and so much more. I almost found a bit of it all… lol!!

The first item I found was a men’s denim button up that I thought would be cute as a light throw for those days where the sun is out like summer but there is also that lovely fall breeze! This is a Guess shirt that originally retailed for 89 bucks but I was able to purchase it on clearance for just $17!


The second item I found also is an item made by Guess… but these are slides and unless you live under a rock then you know slides took over this year like never before! I was looking at the Guess slides online and when I saw them in BFC I jumped on them! They retail for 25 bucks and I bought them for $15… not as big as a deal as the first item but saving is saving!


The third item of course is a notebook because stationary, books, and journals is always a stop at every store… this notebook is cute, pink, and motivational! The notebook retails for 14 bucks and I bought it for $4!


The fourth item I found was not something I needed but something I wanted for the new place. I saw this and thought this would be so cute in my dining area with the rest of my farmhousey items! The canister retails for 10 bucks and I bought it for $5!


The last item was not actually an item for me but a gift for Lani… she turned 13 recently… becoming a teenage girl, getting into makeup, becoming a young woman and I knew she would need to find her scent! So I picked up a 1D perfume that smells divine and the bottle is so precious! If I can find another I will add one to my collection. This perfume retails for 16 bucks and I bought it for $7.


And there you have it the 5 items from BFC.. what do you think? Let’s run some numbers:

Retail Value: $145 – Purchased Value:$48 – Value Saved:$97

I will take that 97 bucks any day… this is why I love the being a Deal Hunter! I hope you enjoyed this new series.. I look forward to the future of this series of course… it’s all about shopping!! I am excited to go for other stores and challenges. The challenges can be a budget or a look alike outfit from a magazine.. I am going to try and be creative with the challenges! If you have any challenge ideas or stores you want to see me try.. Just let me know!

Love Toria

What does the world have to offer?

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I know that I want to see the world one day, something that my mom might want to do but I wouldn’t know because she has never mentioned.  Besides her wanting to see Tahiti, I have never heard her say anything about wanting to see the Eiffel tower or Big Ben, the magical color blue in Greece, or even the Statue of Liberty.  I guess there has to be some people who would prefer to be where they feel safe, or maybe she just could not afford it so she did not want to bring and get not only her but my hopes of travel up either.

When she got sick and others got sick and some died, I realize that life is not promised.  I began to pray every night for a new tomorrow, sometimes wondering if I would survive the night as you know from my other blog.  I am finding myself afraid to step out paranoid of what this world has got to offer, I stop myself and ask ‘Do you or do you not trust in God?” and “What has happened to you personally that makes you afraid of God’s world?”  And the only thought that comes to mind is nothing.. I want to see new things, feel new things, taste new things, and learn new things… much more I want to take my mom, boyfriend and my goddaughter with me!!
In San Francisco, my boyfriend and I can barely afford a studio.  If you want a family home, raise kids, and still be able to feed your family and yourself you have to move across a bridge.  I love being close to my family but I also want to be that Joan Clever type of mom, and it is more clear then ever that it will not be able to happen here in SF.  I want to take a chance and live somewhere new, live life how life is meant to be lived.  Be amerced into a new setting a new culture where you have no choice but to live life and grow into the habitat, and yes give up with what I am comfortable and safe with.  No not completely!  I am only human and I wish I could eat my cake and have it too… (I know that was backwards but it makes more sense!)  I want to move to somewhere new and take my whole family with me… Let’s all try something new together!  Seeing that I wont be able to move my whole family somewhere crazy with me so I am either going to stay here where everyone knows your name and or wait till I build up the courage to go and move somewhere new!
I guess life is one big personal negotiation battle, weighing out the pro’s and the cons..